Everything in its place please.

I cannot imagine this being appetizing even with the meat on the bone. There was a garbage can within a few steps of this sidewalk buffet. Reduce? Reuse? Recycle? In this case, please just toss the animal remains where they belong.

Say what you mean.

Personally, I did not really believe the plane was being cleaned as announced by the gate agent. She simply used the word cleaned vs. the commonly used groomed. But the CLEANING ANNOUNCEMENT made the results of my wipe down way more fun. My pleasures in life are simple.

We apologize for the delay.

Take all the time you like I thought when the gate agent announced the flight was delayed because the aircraft was being cleaned. She said the plane was BEING CLEANED! As opposed to the usual BEING GROOMED. Was my patience rewarded?

Tempting.

I thought about renting one of these bikes in San Francisco, but didn't. Oddly enough, it wasn't the communal aspect that dissuaded me, but rather the hills. More sanitizer for the airplane.

A safer bet?

According to a recent Stanford University study your smartphone touchscreen -- that's yours; not mine -- may have 18 times more germs than a public toilet flush handle. I wonder how this pay phone would fare in comparison to your personal mobile device? With so many personal mobile phones it may just be cleaner. If I were forced to use this phone I would sanitize the receiver and use a tissue to press the buttons. Back to your smartphone. If you avoided public touchpoints your phone could be just as clean as mine.

Save the planet. Catch a cold?

I tried to 'Protect'.

But failed. That's because the hand sani dispenser was empty. Fear not, I always carry my own wipes. On the bright side, an empty dispenser means people are cleaning their hands after touching much-touched airport security bins. Perhaps it's the mere fact that you are near Customs Authorities that makes one OBEY THE SIGN.

On the topic of smells.

This is my least favourite fruit peel and after smell courtesy of a fruit. Although it does photograph well.

Definitely Cream of Something.

In honour of Canadian Thanksgiving which was celebrated yesterday I have an admission to share with you. My acute sense of smell failed me. As I entered the Air Canada Maple Leaf Lounge in Vancouver I would have sworn on an organic turkey breast -- cooked to an internal temperature of 74°C (165°F) to prevent foodborne illness -- that I smelled Cream of Mushroom Soup. Alas, it was Cream of Chicken. Oh well, Bed Bug Sniffing dogs are only 96% accurate as well. Here's proof.

Garbage day.

I am so glad I purchased an organic mattress. Unlike these, mine will decompose as opposed to ending up in a landfill.

Relief at SFMOMA.

Robert Rauschenberg's White Painting (1951) and a bottle of champagne helped me forget (at least temporarily) the stained mattress cover, cockroach and moldy cheese in my hotel room. Perhaps one day The Stained Mattress Cover, Cockroach and Moldy Cheese will be on display at the SFMOMA.

Strike Three.

I am intrigued by the moldy cheese in the minibar, however I cannot find it on the menu.

Strike Two.

When we checked into our San Francisco hotel room there were only two of us. The next morning there were three. For a limited time anyway. Ecolabs "the gobal leader in cleaning, sanitizing, food safety and infection control products and services" were called in to investigate by the hotel. The director of housekeeping said they treat these matters seriously. We never did hear back from housekeeping or the relatives of the deceased.

Strike One.

Look what I found as a result of my hotel room inspection during a recent stay in San Francisco. The good news is this stain -- NOT MINE -- did not permeate the mattress cover, so the mattress was not affected and I did not have to change rooms. Housekeeping did have to replace all bedding. How this can be missed is beyond me.

More to worry about.

Doorknobs. Faucets. Newspaper handles. And now pipes.

On the subject of diapers.

I am learning to be less judgmental. At first when I saw this diaper on a San Francisco street corner I thought, "This is no place to change a baby." Then I reconsidered my hastily drawn conclusion. Perhaps mommy/daddy/nanny looked both ways before changing the nappy, were surprised by a car making a left hand turn, had to move out of harms way and, in their haste, innocently forgot to pick up the soiled diaper. Perhaps.

One primate checking in.

Jeff Koons' gorgeous ceramic sculpture (1988) of Michael Jackson and Bubbles reminded me of a story I was told a few years ago by a five-star hotel employee in Miami Beach who remembered an occasion when ... a chimpanzee was a guest. Let's just say if your beloved -- chimp or chump -- is not fond of the toilet, you too will be paying to have the penthouse suite refurbished from top to bottom.

The flawless craftsmanship of this piece makes it a must see in person and there are no droppings to contend with. This sculpture is part of the SFMOMA's The Anniversary Show and their permanent collection.

Taxi!

The Folsom Street Fair. The one day of the year when many tasty bits are put on display at this annual block party that wraps San Francisco's Leather Pride Week. This spirited event that raises funds for many local charities attracts an estimated 400,000 people from around the world -- those who do and those who would rather just watch. Think of Folsom as old-fashioned fun. This past Sunday was the 27th year. Nudity is legal in California as long as no one participates publicly in a lewd act.

I, for one, am totally cool with public nudity as long as it doesn't ride in my taxi:)

Do you pick up naked people?

The answer from one taxi driver was “sometimes”. Another said he “would never do that”. Tomorrow you will find out why I was curious.

No complaints.

Look! I came across more poo on my walk. I still avoided it out of respect for the artist.