Thursday, September 30, 2010

On the subject of diapers.

I am learning to be less judgmental. At first when I saw this diaper on a San Francisco street corner I thought, "This is no place to change a baby." Then I reconsidered my hastily drawn conclusion. Perhaps mommy/daddy/nanny looked both ways before changing the nappy, were surprised by a car making a left hand turn, had to move out of harms way and, in their haste, innocently forgot to pick up the soiled diaper. Perhaps.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

One primate checking in.

Jeff Koons' gorgeous ceramic sculpture (1988) of Michael Jackson and Bubbles reminded me of a story I was told a few years ago by a five-star hotel employee in Miami Beach who remembered an occasion when ... a chimpanzee was a guest. Let's just say if your beloved -- chimp or chump -- is not fond of the toilet, you too will be paying to have the penthouse suite refurbished from top to bottom.

The flawless craftsmanship of this piece makes it a must see in person and there are no droppings to contend with. This sculpture is part of the SFMOMA's The Anniversary Show and their permanent collection.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


The Folsom Street Fair. The one day of the year when many tasty bits are put on display at this annual block party that wraps San Francisco's Leather Pride Week. This spirited event that raises funds for many local charities attracts an estimated 400,000 people from around the world -- those who do and those who would rather just watch. Think of Folsom as old-fashioned fun. This past Sunday was the 27th year. Nudity is legal in California as long as no one participates publicly in a lewd act.

I, for one, am totally cool with public nudity as long as it doesn't ride in my taxi:)

Monday, September 27, 2010

Do you pick up naked people?

The answer from one taxi driver was “sometimes”. Another said he “would never do that”. Tomorrow you will find out why I was curious.

Friday, September 24, 2010

No complaints.

Look! I came across more poo on my walk. I still avoided it out of respect for the artist.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


This is one variety of poop you do not have to concern yourself with.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Store Bought Diet.

This picture is a forward from my friend Lilliana. According to a Google search, this bag of spinach has been making the rounds since 2006. I do not know what to say other than this frog is a survivor.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Backyard Diet.

As I was cleaning carrots I pulled from my mother's garden, I thought about A: the nutritional value and B: how happy these carrots must be to avoid processing, shipping and manhandling. And by carrots I mean me. If I were to go on the 100 Mile Diet I would have to subsist on apples, grapes, carrots, kale, potatoes, corn, onions and goldfish from the pet store.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The first thing I do on a plane.

If you listen to the announcements made by gate agents, you will often hear them say boarding will commence after the plane has been groomed. Grooming is what airlines do between flights. Translation. They perform a quick tidy. This is why I CLEAN the headrest, armrests, seatbelt, table tray and in-flight entertainment touch screen. FYI. I use less abrasive wipes for the touch screen. For the cleanest seat in the house, with the least amount of effort, ask where I sat last. Or do it yourself. Personally, I find it entertaining to see how dirty my seat surroundings are.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Up here.

I love the semi-transparent blinds at The Mercer. I can see you, but you cannot see me. Hahaha. Privacy is next to cleanliness. I will have to remember to ask The Mercer how many times a year they clean their windows.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


How many people have used these umbrellas over the last 72 hours? Since it has been super hot, I am going to guess zero. Why 72 hours? That is the time it takes for most common germs to die.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


How many people BESIDES ME actually check the sink overflow drain in their hotel room? Mine at The Mercer in NYC was squeaky clean. Not all fare as well.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


How am I ever going to look like a girl version of Marc Jacobs if Balthazar keeps baking delicious pastries? Discipline is too obvious an answer. Perhaps they should remove the glass wall that separates people from the pastries.

Monday, September 13, 2010


How will the owner of this Vespa be able to sleep at nights?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Hands-free doors.

Exactly what was I doing in the Mens' Room at Minetta Tavern in New York besides taking photographs? Verifying the opposite sex is extended the same courtesy as the ladies. The doors in both restrooms are handle free which means all you have to do is push to exit (I used my knee). No doorknobs to touch. No elaborate exit strategies required.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

An odd garbage observation.

Truth be told, I have never noticed a weed problem in SoHo's New York. Perhaps I have not been invited to the right parties. I advocate pulling garden weeds by hand instead of using chemicals. Every time. Do it for our planet.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

If it's not PVD, what is it?

While dining at a NY Mag Critics' Pick restaurant in New York, I experienced a sudden onset of black spots floating in front of my eyes. A quick diagnosis by WebMD suggested a Posterior Vitreous Detachment. Wait. Hold the menu. When looking at my iPhone, the spots disappear. When looking at the wall in front of me, they reappear. I count a minimum of 21.

A closer inspection suggests a Fructus Fly Invasion. Oh, these were not your ordinary colony of flies. These were flies on mission sent to observe me, the Hygiene Hunter. For some reason, I did not leave the restaurant. I believe they hypnotized me because I stayed and ate my meal. WTF? Mental note: wash mouth out with saline solution back at hotel.

To their credit, they were extremely polite, observing me from a 3-foot distance, and did not once approach me or my plate. Oddly enough, my dining companion was missing an ear when we left.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


One dog's soaker tub is another dog's water dish. Surprisingly, I am not going to diss this double-dipping practice. This, after all, is a public dog park in New York and not my hummus dip.

Friday, September 3, 2010

See what purity can do for you.

Take the concept of consuming only pure foods, add a significant amount of discipline and you too could be willingly posing in the nude just like Marc Jacobs. Launching your own fragrance will require your own empire. In an interview in this month's Harper's Bazaar, MJ tells Calvin Klein (page 432) the elimination of caffeine, sugar, white flour and cow dairy and the addition of acai, goji, noni, mangosteen, omega-3 and wheatgrass into his diet, plus good old-fashioned exercise gave him the confidence to share his hotness with the masses as the model for his latest fragrance, Bang. Merci Marc. I am going to buy a bottle of Bang and see if drinking it, along with a chaser of noni, will create similar results for me without the discipline part. It took Marc three years.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Making an example of this kale.

To prove to you that I am not overly paranoid I bought this kale despite the fact it was dropped ON THE FLOOR of the organic garden shop by the adorable little boy who was carrying it to my car. I did not freak out. Really. I brought the kale home. Put it in my LG Washer/Dryer on the Steam Fresh setting and TaDa -- sanitized kale.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

When hygiene really counts.

My first pair of Toms. A company with good intentions started in 2006. According to their website, “A leading cause of disease in developing countries is soil-transmitted diseases, which can penetrate the skin through bare feet. Wearing shoes can help prevent these diseases and the long-term physical and cognitive harm they cause."